March of 2020: the month California went into lockdown and my life would never be the same. Cal State Long Beach closed, my job temporarily shut down, and this all appeared to be just a small inconvenient bump in the road because hey— at least we all get a two week “staycation” right? A year later, it’s safe to say that for the most part we all underestimated the effects the coronavirus would have on our lives. Last year was filled with many life changing events that shook the whole world and I could already picture my great grand children writing their DBQ essay on various subjects for their AP World History test. In this article I’m telling my own story, mainly highlighting the positives to share what I have personally learned this past year.
March - May
Before the lockdown, I was what many would call a “workaholic”. I worked full time despite also having a packed school schedule, leaving very little time for me to just relax and hang out. When the lockdown started and CSULB gave us an “extended spring break” I took this as a sign for me to have a much-needed break from everything and stayed in bed most of the time, attempting to watch as many movies as possible. Upon receiving the announcement that school would not return in person, it was like my world flipped upside down. I was finally feeling comfortable with my classes and was excited to have a production course for the first time and it all appeared to be going downhill quickly. I missed my job, my friends, my old life, and I just wanted to press fast forward to when this would all be over. It felt like the world was punishing me and as someone who always felt like they had control over their life, it was scary to not have control over this situation. To help with my new extra time I decided to pick up my first quarantine hobby and taught myself how to do digital illustration on Adobe Illustrator which gave me an escape from reality. After some reflection, it dawned on me that sometimes in life there are going to be things that we just have no control over and we can either let it consume us or learn to adapt to it. This time was very bittersweet, as I was beginning a journey of finding myself again, but also becoming more aware of how quickly the virus was spreading.
A compilation of some of my favorite work I made to use for commissions.
June - August
Summer of 2020 was an eye opening time for me, as it was for most Americans. With the coronavirus keeping everyone indoors, the Black Lives Matter movement was able to take a front seat at the table. I learned two very important things during this time: knowing when to just listen and that young people are today's leaders. The Civil Rights movement of the 1960s had great leaders, such as Martin Luther King Jr. and Angela Davids, that helped inspire thousands of people. When I was in high school I had a teacher that once said that activism isn’t the same anymore because this generation doesn’t have great leaders. This past summer proved him wrong because the unity, organization, and drive for change I saw amongst my peers was unlike anything I ever experienced in my 19 years. As someone who is not Black, I also learned that there is a time to be vocal and a time to listen. In the face of injustice it is important to voice your concern and support, but last summer it was also vital that we amplified Black voices, as the only way to learn is through listening. I attended marches, messaged friends, donated to charities and looking back at that time in my life I’m really glad I was actually present in the moment as we may never see a movement quite like that again in our lifetime.
A local march I attended organized by students from my old high school.
Sep - Dec
Still out of a job and the coronavirus cases only increasing, my mental health was starting to really take a toll. In September I turned 20 and reality hit me as not only was I no longer a teenager, time also sadly hadn’t stood still during the lockdown. As the holidays started to roll in, my mental health was getting worse. Putting myself first was a big step I had to learn in order to get myself out of this “funk”. I’m often the friend that everyone goes to for their problems and I found that at a certain point it could be really unhealthy, because how could you expect to make someone feel better if you truly don’t believe you can do that for yourself? I took a break from social media, left several group chats, and honestly— it felt like I was 10 pounds lighter. I began to truly understand the quote, “You are responsible for your own happiness. If you expect others to make you happy, you will always be disappointed” in a whole new way.
A sunset from a neighborhood walk I took on my new phone.
Jan - Now
This new year I was determined to make it better than the last; without setting expectations or resolutions. I decided that 2020 was my learning year and looking back, I feel so disconnected from my past self. I changed so much but overall feel like I’m a better person for it with a clearer mindset and goals. In late January, I decided to teach myself the electric guitar because it was something that I wanted to do for years and if not now, when? Back before the outbreak I was either consumed in work, school, or both saying things like, “I wish I could do this” or “one day I want to learn that.” Buying my electric guitar was my first step in finally creating my own happiness and I’ve been enjoying this hobby/stress reliever from school. This past week my job announced that it plans to reopen in late April which means that my life is slowly returning “back to normal.” I’m thankful for my job, health care workers, and for the health and wellness of everyone in my inner circle. This past year had some of the highest of highs and lowest of lows, but at the end of the day I know I did my best given the circumstances, which is all anyone could ask for.
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