The holiday season is among us and while some may view it as the best time of the year, others find that they have a harder time dealing with things such as grief, stress, and anxiety. With COVID-19, many are dealing with not only the loss of loved ones but the loss of a pre-covid life. Now, I am no expert in mental health, but here are some of the good habits I have picked up that help me cope.
1. Learn how to say no.
For many, in times of stress and anxiety, it is easy to become a ‘yes man’. But if we continue to please others without thinking of ourselves, at what point does it become too much to handle? It’s okay to say no. Holiday parties and gatherings are coming up so you might find yourself in uncomfortable positions. Going out of your comfort zone can be exhilarating and refreshing but always remember to trust your gut. For some, it may be the pressure to hang out in large groups. For others, it may be answering slightly too personal of a question from Aunt Z. You don’t owe anyone anything, and you can’t control the way everyone thinks of you. Ask yourself: is it worth putting other’s perception of you before yourself? Life will always move on, and learning to be true to yourself brings us to our next point:
2. Put yourself first, and not down.
There are so many different and beautiful holidays and traditions this time of year, but one thing is universal: the feeling of loving and being thankful for those around you. It is natural and expected to want to do good for our loved ones, especially during this time. At the same time one thing should remain clear: we are our number one citizen. What comes with the change of weather is sadly a lot of people’s seasonal depression. I’ve learned over the years that it’s okay to take mental health days, as it helps with the feeling of being burnt out. I know it is not easy, but take a moment and remind yourself that you have made it this far. So go on and treat yourself! Watch a movie, go on a solo hike, do something for you, and no one else. Additionally, over the years I have realized that many of my jokes are self-deprecating and even though I think I’m joking, I’m actually tearing myself down. The moment we realize how much we put ourselves down is when we will truly be able to bring ourselves up.
3. Evaluate your feelings and accept yourself.
I found this point important for me to include because it has become so normalized to put up a front and pretend that everything is alright. For example, I once had a friend that overworked themselves as a way to distract from their depression and ended up breaking down one day in tears. They told everyone else that they were fine because they were too embarrassed to admit they were struggling.
Say it with me now: It’s okay to not be okay.
In recent years mental health has slowly become a more acceptable topic of conversation nonetheless, it doesn’t mean it’s easy to admit for everyone. Cry it out, scream in a pillow, blast a rock song, and scream your heart out! Feel all the feelings! Don’t bottle it in as it can lead to an inevitable breakdown. Accepting yourself and your feelings will lead you to become more self-aware, which brings us to our next point:
4. Don’t be afraid to seek out help.
This time of year is so jam-packed that many of us get easily overwhelmed. I know for many people, an easy fix for this is simply talking it out. Everyone goes through rough patches and you would be surprised how much we can learn from those that are around us. If you do not have someone you feel safe enough to open up to, or you feel as if your feelings might be too much for your loved ones, therapy is a great option. For many, this word is still so taboo, it is often whispered. I believe that though not everyone needs therapy, we can all benefit from it. The stigma surrounding therapy might come off as scary but also remind yourself that there will always be a stigma surrounding mental health. The more we talk comfortably about these topics the more we can help to detach these stigmas. There are also several mental health apps if you want to ease yourself into seeing someone face to face (or face to zoom): Jour, Reflectly, and Headspace have amazing reviews.
5. Exercise the body and brain.
With COVID-19, a lot of us are going to find ourselves inside for most of the holiday season. Since we are on the topic of bettering our mental health, exercise can help with some of our problems. Our brain is a muscle and loves to be stimulated, so even after the school year finishes try reading a book, learning a language, or solving brain puzzles. If you’ve watched Legally Blonde (2001), then you should be familiar with the famous quote “Exercise gives you endorphins...”, which is true. When we exercise, our body releases chemical endorphins that interact with the receptors in our brain, in turn reducing our perception of pain. And, it also triggers a positive feeling in our bodies that is comparable to morphine. So, with that being said, be safe and try to get some physical activity as well!
6. Be open to new traditions- don’t hold onto what “should have been”.
Last but not least, address the elephant in the room. No one expected in a million years that we would be living in a time like we are today, where Disneyland has been closed for 8 months and we buy our presents with facemasks on standings 6 feet apart. Yes, this is sad. But the truth is, this is our reality and when reality gets tough, we must learn how to be tougher. Be open to all the possibilities this Covid holiday brings, because if we focus on all the things that are different, we will drown in them to a point of no return. Instead of holding on to past traditions, look at this year as an opportunity to make something out of a once in a lifetime event, as we will never forget the year 2020.